Positive Changes Week 9

Well...I decided to quit the program. I am so happy I did. I had signed all this paper work, so I thought for sure I had signed away my right to get my money back, but I hadn't! You see, you have the option to pay it all up front, but I couldn't afford to do that. They put me on a monthly payment plan. So since I quit the program I don't have the monthly payment anymore! I am so glad because one of the reasons why I was staying with the program is because I thought I already had said I would pay all the money, and it would be a waste of money to quit the program. I thought I might as well keep going. I was getting really unmotivated and I stopped going to the different appointments. I also stopped listening to the hypnosis cd. At one point I was determined to tell them I quit the program, but the hypnotist was so manipulative, that I couldn't do it! She said that everyone gets to the point that I'm at, and they would help me to become motivated. The problem was that it didn't work. I felt more motivated to bake pumpkin cupcakes (which I did)! Since being on the program I've actually gained weight! I think what I need to do is lose weight in my own time and in my own way. Like incorporate healthy habits into my life at my own pace. I don't want anyone telling me what to do or breathing down my neck. Also, I feel like I wasn't really being hypnotized. My doctor told me that sometimes it doesn't work. He said the research is mixed about whether hypnosis really works. He was very skeptical about it, and I should have listened to him to begin with. I thought he was just being negative. I have been trying to be more positive. When I did quit the program, it was actually pretty scary. I went in to meet with the coach, and I had to fill out this paper about my goals. I said my goal was to quit the program! The coach literally stared me down! I just diverted my eyes and kept saying I want to quit the program. She asked me if I had been listening to the CD's and I said no. She asked me why, and I said because I don't like the CD's! I felt like I was being really rude, but I wanted at the same time to be totally honest. Then all of a sudden she got a fake smile on her face, and in an overly cheerful voice said we should go up to the front desk. I was supposed to speak with the manager, but the manager was in a meeting and would call me back. When she called me, again the person was very manipulative and made me feel very uncomfortable. I can be a pushover, but I was determined at this point to quit the program. I kept telling her over and over again, "I want to quit the program." Finally, she gave up and said, "OK" and was about to hang up on me, but I was like, "Wait. What about the money?" She said, "I didn't have to pay it anymore!" Then she hung up! I was soooo relieved! I don't like how they made it so difficult for me. It was like a cult or something! I think they thought I was weak, and would cave in. But I can be pretty stubborn about something once I get my mind to it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

I still want to lose weight, but I want to do it on my own. I found this lady on Youtube who every Saturday makes healthy smoothies. Today she did an apple pie smoothie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_5PkNTBZgY. And last week she did a pumpkin pie smoothie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHsK6OaYMik. I haven't tried these yet, but they seem really tasty. They have enough ingredients that it could be a meal. I actually don't like pie, but what I don't like is the crust and that is not included in the smoothies. I do like the ingredients, so I think I would like these. Her Youtube name is uppiesbeads59. She does a lot of anti-aging videos.

If you want I will make blog posts updating about my weight loss or I can do posts about things I have found that have helped me on the road to losing weight and getting healthy. Leave a comment if you have any tips for me or anything you want to say!